Im very worried and actually considering going to where he is and seeking answers. and he would say yeah we should, and then nothing. But then he started talking to me normally and we was fine for a couple weeks but its been 3 weeks now he just hasnt been putting effort in and leaves me on read and blancs my messages (on snapchat we have a streak and thats when he snaps me) & I texted him saying hiya and he left me on read I just dont know what to do anymore my friends have told me to end this but I really do love him what shall I do? If your boyfriend never made an effort to begin with, then he may simply be lazy or indifferent to building and maintaining a relationship with you. He asked if I wanted help learning and I said a big yes. Hi Angela, Well Im no expert with relationships. We are in LDR. 2 years ago I started dating this guy and I knew then with him about a year and a 1/2 ago he made it clear that he still loves his ex wife but due to my health circumstances I had no choice but to move in I had nowhere else to go for me and my kids. Hes never been married no kids etc. And boom..you would be able to leave him to be single and be open for someone whod treat you just the way you deserve. Over time, it wore away at me, he was only putting back in 10%. No texting. I have been doing some self-evaluation to determine the role I played in the relationship. I dont get any attention unless Im the first one to initiate things. He was fine with it so we just started to say it to each other. I would wait it out just a bit, though, because hes probably dealing with a lot right now. And I decided Ive had enough, and it wasnt even a full month yet! im not sure what to do anymore. He bought her a Mothers Day card. Because honestly when I do he always comes back around. Now, I dont know all the details of this, but I would say that hes pushing you away unintentionally while trying to cope with the loss of his father. This has all happened within the last 3 months. Last week he finally invited me over to his house after not seeing him for almost two weeks when he had his daughter. I had to get off and go hang with my friends and so I was trying to say bye but what really came out was I have to go..I love you..bye I dint hang up yet because I realized I said the L word lol and he was like shocked and I got scared. He didnt even make an effort to see me or plan anything the week before he went out of town. If your boyfriend or others say that youre expecting too much, read 11 Ways to Stop Being the Clingy Girlfriend in a Relationship. Ive had a talk with him a few times that I feel like his mom, Im always cleaning and cooking and have to tell him what needs to be done. I may be demanding at times but I definitely know I deserve more than the effort hes willing to put in. So he does nothing. Theres also a clear risk that hell, again, show you exactly how much he cares about you by not fighting for you. You have to be willing to become selfless. He said he was my family and I took that wholeheartedly. Ive been upset ever since and its only been a week but Im feeling really low and I have bad anxiety in general but its been worse lately because of him. I feel like we should break up but as I say he is my life its really difficult and I dont want to hurt him. He I have asked him on several occasions to make more of an effort but it ends up in an argument. Because then they they think they can control and manipulate us. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. Thats was our first time seeing each other in person (granted, Id seen him randomly beforehand in elementary school years before that). i felt unhappy with it.. i wanted to give up but i feel like im the only one who can understand him and love him uncondtionally. he nvr suprises me, nvr rlly care if im okay or not. I love this guy so much but I dont know what else to do, I dont want to live without him we have gotten so serious pretty fast. Do you feel loved? He is not interested in knowing what my love language is. My biggest obstacles are, if I make new friends or find a new boyfriend someday, how long before Im labeled as a b**ch and rejected all over again. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. I am in q very similar situation. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. hes never romantic, never takes me anywhere spontaneously it just goes on. ! And he states that he just noticed it then. I got back with my ex after months. Youre worth someone who is your equal. Most people reading this right now are probably thinking oh my god youre so young and u have so much time! I dont think my boyfriend knows how to deal with someone like me. I have been with my boyfriend 15 years and yes he is still boyfriend no engagement no wedding haha. A week after that, I was at a summer camp and me and him were on ft. I know that a key to a healthy relationship is communication, but I did tell him few times now to go out have dinner or something, and I told him the other day (frankly) that at this stage of our relationship I want him to do some effort to impress me. He doesnt know WHY he cant put in the effort that he wants to put in. I know its a tough pill to swallow, but in time you will heal. He gets annoyed and sighs and does the What do you want from me now?? Okay it became a longer answer than I expected! You can change how you respond to your boyfriend and everything else in your life. Never any action. We continue dating but not once did he ever bring up talking about all that he mentioned. You are so young and still have many, many years to find a good guy. I tried to explain this to him. If, say, youre a non-stop talker, you frequently talk over your partner, tend to interrupt, and just aren't a good listener, they'll stop sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings because they don't feel "heard." On the other hand, if your man is more independent and hes not used I know it sounds like Im materialistic but Im not, I just want effort. Do you have an suggestions on what I should do? Anything and Everything in hopes he would think maybe he should do the same. I dont want to lose him,i made a mistake and have learnt to trust him now! He does spend time with us and financially he is very supportive which Im great full for. "Life happens and things often get in the way of plans you and your partner may have made," says dating expert and counselorDavida Rappaport. Weve been together for 5 years. sometimes comes to my place to have sex. I told him 3 times that this has bothered me and he has made no effort to change this. Actually they havnt shared any sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation. Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). Often the dog doesnt get walked for a few hours in the morning because I have to get myself and the kids ready before I can take the dog out when really he could just get up and do it.He never wants to come on walks with us. He said hes tired or too busy. He doesnt do laundry, dishes, cook or clean. I just badly like him and want to care of him. and I can say that I would of made more of an effort. You need to allow yourself to do something else. i just wish he would be more emotionally available. Hes everything youd want in a guy except for the fact that hes not romantic at all, sometimes I feel like he puts no effort into anything. Or he took them off somewhere he shouldnt have between home and work and left them or maybe regifted to one of his cohort? Also, he says he is claustrophobic and that a lot of kissing makes him feel smothered. Could it be that he lost interest in me? I said we work on it or we end it. He Is Bored. I dont know how to bring this up without making him nervous about how he acts, as I dont want to make him uncomfortable about himself. Girl, you need to get out of that relationship now! And I dont know whether its that hes worried about his mother as she has totally stopped him from going outside and she stopped him from seeing me before the lockdown was announced. He doesnt know how to express himself anymore. I dont understand the change in behavior, at all. Nothing. For our year and a half anniversary I didnt have money at the time and we were fighting a lot but I made him a good luck bracelet and wrote him a very personal card. If you ever need a friend dont hesitate to reach out. He is a freeloader. Trust me, because I have gone through absolute bad times and still risen like a phoenix. If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, your behavior is toxic and negative, and no one, least of all your S.O., wants to hear it. Towards the end of September things exploded. I really dont know what how to go about it. i jst think hes all abt himself and idk wht do. Then he asked me out for coffee later tonight if i am free, I told me I am already engaged ( which I am). I am doing all the work for us. I know this might sound silly compared to all of yours. I start to think that maybe he is cheap and he doesnt want to spend money having a meal in a nice restaurant because we didnt go out for a proper dinning experience. He compromised but I guess his old self is back .Ive not heard from him today as well.I would understand if he was unwell,Id appreciate it if he could atleast send me even a short message so I wouldnt get so worried. But he never tells me how he feels when I ask. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. It could be stress at work, ill-health, anxiety, or family issues. Youll learn how to respond when your boyfriend stops texting you. He did have a hard time texting back or talking and thats what brought me to posting the initial question. He went out and bought 48 roses he surprised me with though out the day for Valentines day and took me out for a really nice dinner- he even planned having sexy time (which got postponed finishing). Try to change. For example, he never said that he was looking forward to seeing me when he made plans to hang out, so I stopped doing that. If you have never met in person then its more than enough reason to break up with him. Works always. Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. This person called me a name during a fight, even after I said that Im not here for that. I love my boyfriend very much but he is so difficult to understand in the morning you will text with much love and in the evening he will tell you I dont know how to love, you deserve someone better who can give you money among others . Again, thank you Sumiah and to the other ladies in this blog who support each other. Like we will be having a nice time and something sets him off and he just spirals. Thank you for what you said because not only do I relate to the emotional and psychological effects, I relate to the not wanting your house to look or smell like a GARBAGE CAN!!!! Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I keep trying to be loving and affectionate and hes always too busy and it gets on his nerves because Im stopping him from doing whatever hes doing. I decided to pull back and just sit and watch. Texts are still slow. But still hes everything I want and need. This person flakes when we have plans even after I said that Im not here for that. He hasnt showed any affection towards me since that incident and makes me feel he doesnt care to make me feel like Im the only one. I would then open a honest discussion about how we both feel when I return. Instead of wishing things were different, practice accepting the fact that you cant change your boyfriend or make him want to spend time with you. He was blowing me off each and every time. Btw he put his board in a form of a heart on his wall for me . I had to ask him few time now: lets go out to have dinner or breakfast or its been a while we went out on a date. In regards to the relationship, when you get more rest and relaxation and go back to your favorite hobby, find ways to invite the guy. I get everyday but we go like 3 weeks to a month to once a month. Around the 5th month, he asked me to be his girlfriend but then he quickly retracted it after realizing how serious we were about to be. I dont think Ive really shared that with anyone before! or something but dont get mad if he says no just go do it because YOU want to do it Leave him the option, but if he doesnt pick up on it, just enjoy yourself anyways ^~^ cuz you deserve it You are working really hard and deserve to enjoy some time. I feel angry and resentful that going to school took him away from me while he was basically unavailable and busy. I dont have any family where I live to help out. He only got me a childrens bear . he told me he loved me which he hasnt said in a week 1/2 i was shocked.. he acted normal but careless. About 3 weeks after, right after a fight we had after my bday, he told him he cant find them. Find a low-key, nonthreatening way to approach him. and guess what? All relationships are unique. Where Im at in my life, after 5 years, if Im not a fianc, Im gone. Since me and my son have been here, which is almost a year, my boyfriend has initiated sex ONE TIME, taken me out somewhere other than the GROCERY STORE, ZERO TIMES, wether its out to dinner, out for drinks, or ANYTHING. how to respond when your boyfriend stops texting you, When He Doesnt Make Time for You: How to Create More Love in Your Relationship, how to be an emotionally strong woman in your relationships, 11 Ways to Stop Being the Clingy Girlfriend in a Relationship, 6 Ways to Handle a Boyfriend Who Doesn't Have Time for You, What to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting or Calling You, Did He Stop Making an Effort? WORKS BUT DOES NOTHING ELSE. Could you be the one who's not listening? But how can we trust someone who says they love us and then, intentionally hurt us? my ex best friend told him everything and ever since then its been a nightmare. Then we start texting, he seems fine again and things are good and a month or so later it happens again. He wont think through things for different perspective. So Im telling myself to just treat him like an acquaintance and move on with my life, but still find myself getting triggered on the daily by this baffling behavior. Tonight was my last straw.. He never posts about me. im in the same boat as you and it really sucks. There is a lot more to it that Im frustrated about, and recently Ive become I guess depressed about everything in general and find myself thinking about how it used to be and what I miss the most and to be honest all that ends up happening is me ending up crying, falling asleep and it starts all over again. Tinder is amazing, by the way. I got to see him in person for the first time and we were in love. I dont think he will change. I am always will to do anything however since I love notice it was only me doing it Ive been reluctant. Each weekend he has been helping his DJ friend ( his BFF), or going out with best buddies. Its easy for him to say he crashed at a friends, but let him get over the guilt or offers an explanation before he comes back. I am not sure what to think or how to react, I really like him and he is a good respectable person. We talked about it seriously the 2nd year. I knew something was wrong. LEAVE HIM. You are independent. Even when I have my moments he still comes back around. Another thing is that my relationship with him heavily influenced my religion. But also in the past few months he has also started growing his own pot, which I cant handle. But loves to act as if what Im saying isnt logical. Hello everyone, Ive been with my boyfriend for two years, hes a good man, kind and gentle and always takes care of me. Ive been dating my boyfriend for four years. All you can do is give him space to love you the way he wants. But I needed to know if he still wanted the relationship with me because he has been so distant. he is a loyal person i know that but hes too self centered and he makes me feel like im not important. Its sad when other give you the compliments that you are looking from in one person. if he is not putting in the effort to help you, that becomes tiring and it is not fair. I would put makeup on and wait hours for him to finish his video games, only for him to tell me hes sorry he got caught up, but hes tired and doesnt have time. do you have to have contact for this. We live in one of the coolest states in the world, Orlando Fl. im still inlove with him up to now but i feel so tired understanding him and ive been unhappy throughtout the relationship. I want to give myself time to breath but when I do, again I feel lazy and like Im doing nothing with my life. I am depressed as well and yet my partner is on top of my prioroty list. I dont know what he wants from me. I am an emotional person and I tend to cry. Dont let your wishes control your thoughts and feelings. In the beginning of the relationship is when everything should be perfect. So any advice for me would be great! If you aren't getting the attention you need and deserve, it may be time to move on. I just wish he thought about me enough to want to do things for meto put in effort just for me, Gilr im sorry But the either already have someone else or he is flirting with someone. I dont want to talk about marriage or kids or the future. Hes the opposite. He called and asked me to come and get himwhich I did. ! And then what we talked about was not set in stone and that things change. Should I tell him how I feel about not talking enough or should I just let it fade away? Try to be better. He did it once and that was it. Hi, I really need help/advice Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9months and we really do love each other but a couple weeks ago we just didnt talk as much or communicate in person & I asked him if he wants this relationship and he said hes lost feelings for me (but he doesnt know and his heads abit lost) and it doesnt feel like were together anymore because the conversation is dead. Im a mum of one and I feel if we move in he will leave it all to me. It could be, very simply, that your S.O. He confess to me that he started to love in our 1 month relationship. So currently on the couch drinking a beer, eating leftovers from a 3 days ago (which is humorous because he could have at LEAST heated that up for me) and then all the sudden the dog jumps up at me. And a month to once a month probably dealing with a lot right now 3...., you need to allow yourself to do an my studying, work! To know if he is and seeking answers texting you all to me I already.... 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