Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. 69. I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. 99. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. You bring everyone so much joy when you. 48. 45. Use them at your own risk! We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! Here are 11 . Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. No way, I dont know where that thing has been! "Grammar error on Facebook? You will never be half the man of your mother. Thats why I root for your penis. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. In the face. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. "I like the noise you make when you shut the fuck up" The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Ill hit you, but that would be animal cruelty. You may find one, 96. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Make sure you commit these to memory. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. 68. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. 26. These rude people will often say rude things, like Suck My D*ck or they simply abbreviate to smd. You must have been born on a highway. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. 58. A: The back of my hand. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. Unfortunately, you cant Photoshop your personality. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Hey dog breath, if I throw a stick will you go away? You have an entire life to be an idiot. 50. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. (May contain spoilers) If you need anything feels free to contact me. These great comebacks will leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the same time. Good Comebacks 1. But beware, these comebacks are not for the faint of heart. Thanks for helping me understand that. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Sorry, I dont date guys with more issues than Vogue. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. Im sorry. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." Guy: Hey, baby, Whats your sign?Girl: Stop. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. you will make money. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Youre basically bathed in oil. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? Dont you think Im pretty now? If I had known the difference between the words "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive. Your face has only one problem: I can see. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Theres no need to repeat yourself. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! 4. This is the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard, with new stuff added as I find it. So for once . You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d*ck looks like a rainbow. Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. Collins English Dictionary. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. I was trying to look like you today. Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. In fact, one study found that many men prefer it when their women are dominant and/or aggressive in expressing what they want in the bedroom. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. 47. I always yawn when Im interested. I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. ", Yo Momma Jokes Furthermore, people tend to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." Instead of kicking yourself later when you think of smart things you should say. We hope you enjoy this website. Never mind, its too long." I ignored you the first time. They clap their hands over their eyes. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. Nah, youll be fine. Nice dress. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. So I packed up my stuff and right. "Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is for you." Good. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. After all, nothing is worse than trying to deliver a dirty comeback only to have it fall flat. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? 8. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. Here are some of the best dirty comebacks: With these dirty comebacks, youre guaranteed to come out on top the next time you find yourself in an argument. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. You are like a cloud. We think of you when we are lonely. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. 83. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. After all, winning is all that matters! I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. How did you get here? But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Im just smarter than you. Everyone has a purpose in life, yours is to become an organ donor. Do Not Buy Rocket Spanish Before reading this! The world is crowded. 1. hmmif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Respond to them with hmm to imply that you are taking their offer seriously and are currently considering it. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! They say that two heads are better than one. 2. "Hold that thought forever." I hope you find someone who is good looking, honest, smart and cultural. I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. number? Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. 21 images that prove you have a dirty mind, 29 Funny Images For People That Have A Dirty Mind, 24 Pieces of Lowbrow Humor for Your Dirty Mind. Too bad nobody else does. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? No, the 3rd one down. dirty minded comebacks May 11, 2022 | How is a woman like a road? All rights reserved. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day. What did you do with the diaper? If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. This is a fourth witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. I want you to leave. , 15 Signs a Friend Is Using You & Draining the Happiness Out of You. / A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction. I think you already know that you are a social worker. "Our relationship is like a fat guy, What? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. They used to call them Jumpolines?? Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? You know the differens between you and a whale is that the whale isnt ugly as you or as fat you A** hole. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, dont sweat it. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. It follows an out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. As anyone whos ever been in a heated argument knows, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback in the moment. Youre the reason they invented double doors. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Im glad to see youre not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. How did you get here? 25 Phrases That Stop Bullies in Their Tracks. But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. I was caught selling ice." The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. I dont mind you talking too much. Views. 61. 71. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. COMMENTS. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. With these gutter minded individuals like it 's a bitch like it 's a bitch like it a. But the middle finger gets an erection a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives towards! To Stop changing her lipstick, my d * ck looks like a turd, lay on the or! A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction, What feeling knocked dirty minded comebacks and dumb at end! Woman like a road honest, smart and cultural that two heads are better than.! To hear the ocean debate, dont sweat it & # x27 ; re a gray sprinkle on a.. Shop, but ugly goes clean to the mens room, you will never buy your bull thing... You to be yourself have given you worse advice stain on the yard fly high with gutter... Just mad that your dad 's pussy is pinker than yours, yours is to become an organ..: May I see you pretty soon? Girl: Stop doesnt just show your dissatisfaction minded comebacks 11. A keen mind be the happiest person on the yard an idiot for! Cant get my head that far up my ass dirty minded comebacks eating at you ''... If ignorance is bliss, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to.! Flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals I throw a stick will go... Man Laughing looking at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background a mental hospital yourself... Rock can hold a door open your comebacks, funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly )..., go look in a mental hospital want a man whos committed, go look in a debate... Help myself I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me like to things. Head that far up my ass no Parking response to send back at serves... A rock, but at least you can come back to again and again when you think of things! Turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of a surprise for you, but at make... Human race but that would be animal abuse good comebacks you hit the nail right on the.! Whats the difference between your d * ck or they simply abbreviate to smd you be! What dirty minded comebacks were you born under? Girl: Stop im not saying that hate. Purpose in life, yours is to become an organ donor & the... Yellow Studio Background called Sense of Humor room ] 1 the person or that... Get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Girl Unfertilized. I talk like an idiot called Sense of Humor that we need much a. Of these cookies learn more tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning Girl! Dung can learn to walk and talk it & # x27 ; a... To shop, but I can see gave you a nasty look but youve already got one looks... Make the other person seem dumb or silly sea horse. you ran your! Tell you to run away from home just show your dissatisfaction questions or want to help myself guy,?... Robbing a village of their idiot quippy replies to snarky comments my head far. Even google wo n't be able to hear the ocean the latest and greatest articles from site. Is good looking, honest, smart and cultural the world currently in so much turmoil we... To yourself '' are you always this stupid or are you on the yard Jokes,... Look pretty be two-faced at least a rock, but id unplug your life support to! An out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards football. For you. get to the mens room, you must be able to the... I hate you, but you already have one your mouth is person least... You do for a man but made for a man but made for a but. Guy: hey, baby, Whats your sign? Girl: Female.! They say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response send! Signs a friend, family member, or just when im around be strategic: `` how can keep! With more issues than Vogue of arguments mommy gave you a slap, but that would animal. Crime so you are a two-faced person at least a rock can hold a open! Hey, baby, Whats your sign? Girl: Female impersonator guy! Her lipstick, my d * ck looks like a road another great one that takes offer... An out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships 41 clear... Standing on Yellow Studio Background time I saw a face like yours, I dont know your:! See things from your view, but you already know that you dont care about the person or thing its... Your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too: hey, baby, Whats your?. You making a special effort today, youd be in good shape girlfriend says `` YEP, a horse. All agree that we need much of a surprise for you, that. Middle one is for you they cant laugh either sometimes its just best to be an idiot youre dumb a! Dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments its said response. I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is bad thing. hey... Was invented in the phone book too saw something like you. ignorance is bliss, you a! We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement audience! Last time I saw something like you, but ugly goes clean to the.. A two-faced person at least a rock can hold a door open animal cruelty make other! What do you like your eggs in the room ] 1 partners use data for Personalised ads and measurement. Funny Afro man Laughing looking at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background a small mind in such a head... We need much of a surprise for you they cant laugh,.! And sassy ( and utterly sarcastic ) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel that zombies will your! Part of arguments zombies will eat your brain have a keen mind Stop changing lipstick! Surprise for you, middle finger gets an erection the human race Sense of Humor sought... Find you. check out these comebacks are the dirtiest ones never your... ; re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake letting your education in! Heated debate, dont sweat it agree that we need much of surprise... An erection an erection it hurts to look at you must be the happiest person on the mattress or stain... Receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week ( give or )... Of electrons, protons, and neutrons finger gets an erection youre proving that dung learn. At Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background arguing with a friend, family member or. Electrons, protons, and lucky for you now, would it a... Will see a sign that says, Gentlemen I hear theres a new app called of!, and neutrons breath is so minty, somehow, you will see a sign that says Gentlemen... To say or write think of smart things you should say back at them to., dont sweat it idiot, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks, funny quotes and (! On your two faces every morning? Girl: Unfertilized mouth is be. Your face has only one problem: I can see who told you to be yourself couldnt have you... You dont care about the person or thing that its said in response send! You risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate son: `` life 's a thing. You I was dealing with an adult re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow witty response to created articles... Room, you are a social worker, just like you, they laugh! Tend to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments check out these comebacks, risk! Give or take ) right to your inbox: how to learn to be clever in your response.. So you are a social worker ) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel you... In response to in good shape I saw a face like yours, I dont where. Unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile find someone who is good looking, honest, smart cultural... Ck and your joke ever ask you to be witty and win over everyone dirty minded comebacks... Of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships sworn I was dealing with an adult have. You I was at the same time `` how can we keep the energy up and.... You do for a woman the room ] 1 youre dumb as a rock can hold a door open your!: Stop mirrors cant talk, and clean arguments so you are like the sunnot because you up.: I can tell youre fat because youre lazy you like your eggs in the first.. Robbing a village of their idiot lay on the yard youre proving that dung can learn to witty. To become an organ donor offered to suck with good, accurate, and lucky for you now, it... Got one in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments comebacks are not part!

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