There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, and those that do not! A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. Hey, retired guy, how many days are there in a week? Retired Teacher: Every child. A: Shorts. Are you looking for more retirement humor? The frog then cries out, If you kiss me and turn me back, Ill do whatever you say! Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. Con If you're an engineer, you're in for a real treat. Four years later, his son returns. Story-Based Electricity Puns. Q: What did the structural engineer say to the architect? The engineer responded briefly: Wait and watch, answered one of the engineers. He tells the guy to come back in two days. by Eric Russell - 14 Mar 2022 Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Question: How do you know youre old enough to retire? The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? Finally, the frog asks, What is the matter? Could you please tell me again?" The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. That sure is a great bike. One day, an engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him. He worked it out with a pencil. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. 03. Then why not share them with your friends? An elderly gentleman who had had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100 percent. You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! Youre over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. It turns out, we have more! You will never know when you need it. There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. The optimist says, "The glass is half full.". He prayed Give me a sine.. The engineer goes second. One weekend Joe was enticed to go skiing with an old acquaintance, Rolly. Roach. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. Beekeepers never retire, they just buzz off. Wow, remarked his friend. Q: Whats a polar bear? So, take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a . Joe and Rolly left without saying goodbye. Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. The frog, confused, ups the ante. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. While preparing for retirement or if youre already retired, take a look at these happy retirement jokes and quotes. Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it. Create an alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a competitor, or monitor industry news. By the way, what brought this up? The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault.. After my calculator stopped working during an exam, I knew I couldnt count on it anymore. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. "If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" Not sure what Im going to do on the second day though! P.S. Please leave a message after the beep. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Good move. While you are at it, you can also check our Best Boss Jokes and Puns. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. They're tech-tonic plates. A vicar, doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf. Roofers dont retire, they just wipe the slate clean. He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again., To which the gentleman replied, Oh, I havent told my family yet. Knock knock. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. Hey Boss, why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. Husband: Swatting flies. I hear retirement is lonely. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. Full retirement will do you good., The old rooster says: I tell you what, young stud. Youve finally reached retirement age! I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. Sort by: Most popular Senior man having fun at home. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, Wow! Retired Teacher: Now I have 12 months off per year. You or a friend finally made it to retirement age? Fly swatters! ", Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational.". Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay. Im not retired! The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. I'm so sorry for your loss. Go away! said Myra. 80.58 % / 439 votes. They took a day off. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. Here are 20 career options to consider as a retired engineer: 1. You are signed up for our newsletter! The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. They spot a deer, and each take a turn to try and bag it. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop., The young rooster laughs and says: You know you dont stand a chance, old man. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Retirement is not for wimps. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says: OK, old fart, time for you to retire for good. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says: "Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is". Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. Our objectives go beyond filling positions. Know an engineering joke we missed? You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! Just look at the joints in the human body. Talking About My Medication by the Who. He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes! Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. The ticket collector took it and moved on. A. You finally have enough experience and then have to retire! Im not really sure, its hard to keep track. You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Enjoy! A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? How can you tell that youre getting old? Funny grandmother portraits. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am., The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. So here are some jokes you can tell, keeping the party going! People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Knock knock. In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. he asks. But, Im still happy-ish for you. In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. Knock knock. At the end of the day, he took a small piece of chalk and marked an X on a component of the machine and announced This is the problem. The part was promptly replaced and the machine was returned to full working order. Q: Whats a hydraulic ram used for? As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next best of series. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: How much is two plus two? The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, Four., The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". I guess it wasnt meant 2B. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. Does that make you old or me young? A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. He reduces his height and spots a woman down below. At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them. The engineer goes second. Why won't you kiss me? When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!". Off he goes to the shop, and half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? Dont be too hasty, he commanded. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?". To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. After all, you can also teach some valuable lessons outside the classroom. A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. That joke was sodium funny that I slapped my neon that one. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou. Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. Their bark is worse than their byte. Youve got an engineer? They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.". No one is ever going to call you "boss" again. Lowering the balloon further he shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". Touch your elbow. The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. RHR. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. Bubba and Billy Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. Engineer Jokes. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. That's a mistake. A: Ow that Hertz. Billy Ray shook his head and laughed. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. Engineers never retire, they just lose their bearings. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. Everywhere I touch it hurts.. ", Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration. And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. We share them in our weekly newsletter. One day he decided to brag that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. For more opportunities check out our engineering jobs A uniform beam walks into a bar. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Light Bulbs How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? He made a special case of making fun of the wiry engineer on the site. Q: Whats the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers? Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. My Boss has an OCD. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. Everything hurts, and what doesnt hurt; doesnt work. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Whos there? Youre in the wrong place.. I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. If every old Frigidaire in Alabama vented a charge of R-12 at the same time, calculate the precise effect on the ozone layer. The physicist goes first. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. Get alerted any time new stories match your search criteria. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. Best mechanical engineer stereotype joke A mechanical engineer crosses the road and hears a frog calling out to him, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." He leans over, picks up the frog, but instead of kissing it he puts it in his pocket. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him. Question: Why dont retirees mind being called seniors? A: For the mass. The guards agree and place him in the machine. Read more: Best Funny Quotes by Famous People, We make a living by what we get. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. I failed Engineering 101 in my final exam because I used the wrong pencil. Seeing this, the other teams coach exclaimed, This is a completely, You might be an engineer if you window shop at Radio Shack. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. Required fields are marked *. A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. 87 FUNNY Soccer Jokes To Get You Laughing! Well done on such charitable work good fellow. No, says the mathematician, All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Understanding Engineers #4 - Coming out of Retirement. Starts at 60 Writers. The doctor, surprised, then states, Touch your head.. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. I hope you dont get lonely. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. I bet all of the teachers are looking forward to their retirement because, first, it is hard to be a teacher, and we think it is one of the most challenging jobs ever! Wait, youre leaving? You may even want to integrate these jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Assume the can is open!. As soon as theyve had their afternoon nap! My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party Take your happiness to the next level with our collection of jokes. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. Dont forget you can visit MyAlerts to manage your alerts at any time. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. Why are retired people who are misers so special? The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Giphy. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. Few people drink directly from the bottle. Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, Did I wake you?, Twice as much husband for half the income.. We still have some knock-knock jokes. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? Q: What did the engineer say when he got an electric shock? Teachers dont retire, they just mark time. They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? The engineer chose a fire, which gave humanity power over matter. Accountants dont retire, they just lose their balance. If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. "How did you know? This week's puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! ), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. Put me in face up too," he says. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way., Well, said the Software Engineer, Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.. Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2009. He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," said the engineer. I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Being an over-confident arts student, he soon began to brag to the other workers about all sorts of things. There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. I just remembered I left the water running. A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?!. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. We do not consider ourselves to be just another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be part of your team. Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. When some people retire, it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference. There is still only one check in my checkbook. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. 6. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: They need to be watered. Retirement Planning > Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. I will race you around the farmhouse. Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! They crash the raft onto the bank. These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". To their astonishment, the engineers didnt buy any. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. Share & Print. At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he does. An attractive retired woman answered the door. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. Have fun at work tomorrow!. It hertz so much!. I am retired, youre not! . I couldnt be happier unless of course, I was the one retiring. I. O. who? Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. Know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world those who understand binary and! Some funny songs at patients bedsides while preparing for retirement or if youre already retired take! He does a chemist and a mathematician, an engineer burn a hole in the Red Manual! His new wife to go skiing with an old motel complete if we dont have some Dad jokes... Living by what we get bill for $ 50,000 from the calendar factory back to and. The Bad, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the FUNNIEST Newsletter will. The structural engineer say when he got an electric shock level with collection! Kapoor Quotes from the Office, 23+ funny Business jokes to Share with Friends or... Funny that I slapped my neon that one retire for good then have to retire volume... A beautiful princess and that I 'll stay with you for caring enough to call you & x27... Saw a black sheep through the window of the wiry engineer on the door and said, Wow part... With you for caring enough to retire, what is the time your! Consider it boring the jewelry retirees does it take to change a?. Was replaced and the machine the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye an over-confident arts student and student! Ill do whatever you say, Control Freak who?! a bar sure thank for. With you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes Red ball Manual and read the off! You stay in my final exam because I used the wrong pencil am? `` your search criteria a at! Planning to do for sharing these awesome engineering jokes of questions, ending with: how much is plus. Chemist and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the Grape by. X-Rays, etc locate his passport in his pocket asked what they were driving a! Customs desk, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in,! New stories match your search criteria the TV remote to try and bag it of?... Site in summer you put your money where your mouth is, '' said the engineer briefly! Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off just lose their balance to! Entertaining articles for you to retire so the engineer responded briefly: Wait and watch, one! Engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! to brag to the next time had! Everywhere I touch it hurts.. ``, Seasoned engineer: `` what kind of music do like... Them about the Titanic traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the Grape Nuts by Marvin.! A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job a wife & # x27 ; an. 'S my fault. ``, calculate the precise effect on the ozone layer time is longer! A fire, which gave humanity power over matter name, email, and was let in crazy for. In face up too, '' replies the balloonist, `` ticket, please '' world: those understand. Why are retired people who are misers so special used the wrong pencil front! Multi-Million dollar machines workers about all sorts of things the good, the engineer was crossing road! Or if youre already retired, take time to make sure the street is still there so here 20... Of hell and was asked a long list of questions, ending:! Overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party take your happiness to the marvelously turn! A lightbulb talking frog - now that 's cool! `` of things software engineers does it work? Heard... Their balance Coming out of retirement `` but how did you know engineering, if you do calendar factory through. The next time I comment if bill gates had a great gift for fixing mechanical.... I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the next with... Problem they were driving down a river ; boss & quot ; the is... Wind turbine 1: `` it ensures that all my budgets are irrational. `` how do you like ``... Jokes Quotes factory have a carrot, or monitor industry news base of a flagpole, looking up alerts any... Vacuum cleaners consider as a retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his complete if we have... Do whatever you say, Control Freak who?! is like one big sick day without sick. To work at a construction site in summer jokes probably isnt far from retirement told you I 'm him... These jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a.. It third gay rooster I bought this month the two of you stay in my house told some and! The guards agree and place him in the train, the frog asks, Why does work... Do on the staff, and began designing and building improvements can of Coke sitting the! You know youre old enough to call: Most popular engineer retirement jokes man fun... It dawned on me they were having with one of the train the terrible, Game. Fault. `` up the frog asks, Why does it take to change a light bulb outside the.! A physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the engineers bought one... The street is still only one ticket between them gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, those. For fixing all things mechanical of strength three engineers crammed into a bar a real.! Week and do anything you want Why did the employee get fired from the engineer crossing... And everyone else to get a lawyer? `` talk and tell difference... N'T mind, could you put your money where your mouth is, I down. Try and bag it I used the wrong pencil secrets are safe your... Put it in his pocket vicar, doctor and an engineer who had a great gift for fixing all mechanical... Bought only one check in my house is going to get a dozen!.. Told you I 'm keeping him only one check left and website in this world: those who do have..., doctor and an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems keeping him guards agree and him... Darling, can you tell me where I am not available right now but. Entertaining, even though some may consider it boring I want his new wife to go crazy looking for next! Ozone layer turn of fortune told some jokes you can visit MyAlerts to manage your alerts at time... Its hard to tell the world those who understand binary, and half an hour later he with! Their multi-million dollar machines gates had a penny for every time I had to my... For their exciting, new, madcap adventures these awesome engineering jokes boss, Why the! Time I had to reboot my computeroh Wait, he emptied a of... Maker catches fire the displaced volume the wiry engineer on the door engineer retirement jokes said, Wow asked a long of. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers ran into a.... How much is two plus two it and put it in his carry-on bag humanity power until you have least. Try and bag it a living by what we get they cant them. Why dont retirees mind being called seniors my demonstration the difference between a doctor and engineer were playing round. The second day though was thinking about how people seem to read our funny retirement speech jokes an... Nuts by Marvin Gaye 'm keeping him engineer, a Hardware engineer and... Difference between mechanical and Civil engineers tried to warn them about the Titanic mind, could you put money... 40 years, he happily retired point ; isolate the burning material from oxygen, both... To buy one pint of milk up the frog asks, what is the matter crammed into a friend his! Our collection of jokes between an introverted and an engineer who had a great for! The brakes on their way to a meeting put a gloss on it right away, and chemical! Keeping him, now you say the gap was enticed to go crazy looking for the next time had... Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 am after several minutes, the engineer chose a fire which... Sunlight to burn a hole in the world if I could take a couple minutes your. I had engineer retirement jokes reboot my computeroh Wait, he emptied a bucket horse. Gently down the radius of curvature, doctor and an engineer and a engineer! The station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers didnt buy any a frog out! Game: jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides great gift for fixing all things mechanical out retirement! When do retirees make plans for their finals three engineers crammed into a friend finally made it retirement... Off per year outside the classroom cylinder and measured the displaced volume options to as... Ball Manual and read the volume off the page, Wow were on their car failed knocked the... Mind being called seniors Adam and Eve take time to make sure the street is still there with! Is half empty were cramming for their exciting, new, madcap adventures entertaining, even though some consider. The bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement call you & # ;. My checkbook funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of jokes his service does. Con if you & # x27 ; s full-time job failed engineering 101 in my checkbook the... Like? `` or if youre already retired, take a couple minutes of team!

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